Nadir

NADIR: The lowest or most unsuccessful point in a situation.

An asymmetrical triangle. A deep, saturated teal. Simple, familiar, repetitive stitches, sitting at odds with each other. Yarn held double for a faster, plumper knit. No fancy techniques, no additional notions, no complicated instructions.

Nadir is a pattern you can reach for at your lowest point – when your knitting mojo has left the building, when your life insists that your focus is elsewhere, when the only way is up.

Once completed you’ll have acknowledged life’s sharp edges and dark recesses, and channeled them into a thing of comfort that draws you close and holds you warmly as you take steps up and out to clearer, sunnier times.

Nadir was a pattern designed on the needles. I wasn’t in a good headspace at the time; my thoughts were fragmented and jumbled, I didn’t feel sure about myself, I didn’t feel confident. I’d been trying out some new ideas and techniques, and nothing was working the way I wanted it to. It got to the point where I coudn’t tell if something really wasn’t right, or if I was too frustrated and disappointed to be objective and see the good things in what I was trying. I felt tired, imposter syndrome was settling in, and I needed a palette cleanser to remind me what I was capable of.

I went stash diving, slowly picking things up and turning them over in my hands, looking (and feeling) for a yarn that made me feel less scattered and more calm. I found two hanks of Black Elephant merino singles in a colourway called Tranquility, a deep teal that had depth and interest. The dye style was tonal, that kettle dyed look; cohesive and easy to use, but not boring. The base was something I’d worked with many times before. The colour made me think of deep waters that could run still and tranquil or rage with a chaotic storm. I wanted to sink into that colour, curl up in it, and bathe in it.

I chose the most familiar of the shapes I’d been playing with – the asymmetric triangle – and, holding the yarns double, started with a humble slip knot and easy, familiar garter stitch.

Seeing the colour working up beautifully gave me that sigh of relief: this was working. All I needed to do was to keep going and not mess it up.

So, of course, as soon as I had a decent little triangle done, I decided to switch it up just a little bit. After all, a garter stitch triangular shawl isn’t much of a design choice. (See that confidence coming back?) What I wanted was another familiar, easy stitch pattern, something everyone can do, that would play nicely with the shaping increases and give a little juxtaposition to the garter stitch without complicating the instructions too much.

Ribbing was the obvious answer: just knit and purl stitches, nothing complicated; lines running visually in the opposite direction to the garter stitch; a customisable repeat that could be adjusted to fit the shaping increases. Perfect.

The cat was a fan, too.

Once I’d decided how long each garter and rib section should be, switching between them like stripes kept me interested in the knit without giving me too much to think about. This was one of the quickest things I’ve ever knit – it was so easy to do while I watched TV, or listened to music, or hung out with my kid, that it just flew off the needles. Holding the yarn double didn’t hurt, either!

The name came to me as I was knitting it and, as always when I think of the word Nadir, I thought of the word Zenith. But this time, the word brought another design idea I’d had scribbled down with it, embodying all the opposite traits of this one, and the idea for paired patterns was born. But Zenith’s story is for another day.